Wednesday, September 16, 2009

A Day In The Life Of A Rwandan Family






I was fortunate on my trip to Rwanda to participate through World Vision in a day in the life of a Rwandan family. We arrived at Alice’s house which was built for her by World Vision, she has two daughters and Alice herself is a survivor of the Genocide. She and her youngest daughter are both HIV positive and life has been a real struggle. Upon on our arrival we were greeted by a woman who was warm and wonderful, despite her HIV status she exudes life, love, appreciation and an unwavering sense of hope. Alice has hope for herself and for her young daughters because through World Vision she has found a hand up and is learning to make a better life.

We were divided in different groups and house hold chores that would normally be done by Alice and her daughters were assigned to us. I volunteered to be part of the group that would go and gather firewood. With Alice’s oldest daughter in the lead and Costa following behind us to act as our interpreter off we went. We traveled down the road past Alice’s neighbors for quite a distance happily waving to all the curious onlookers. We were pumped! This was fun! We picked the best job of them all! We chatted excitedly. Turning a corner we began our decent down into the valley, the trail was rough and the sun was beating down on us mercilessly and the excitement was beginning to wane. Down we went further and further from Alice’s house, as we reached the bottom of the hill and began crossing the valley we came across a water hole with small children gathered next to it. Costa stopped to speak with the children, and picking up a long stick he plunged it into the filthy stagnant water showing us just how deep it was. He spoke with the children a little more and we continued on our way; we hiked across the valley and began to climb the other side where our search for fire wood would begin. Alice’s daughter stopped in an area that had many dead trees and branches, she began dragging out the larger ones and breaking them into smaller pieces that would be easier to carry. The rest of our group began doing the same, it didn’t take long to realize that the branches were covered in thorns and we had to be careful not to injure ourselves. I was sweating, my fingers were bleeding from the thorns and all I had to show for my efforts was a pitiful looking pile of sticks! So pitiful was my little pile that an old Rwandan woman, who came walking down the hill, looked at me and my pile and began laughing, she was so sweet and her laughter was so infectious I began laughing right along with her. Next thing I know she’s grabbing branches and breaking them like they’re toothpicks, soon my pile wasn’t so pitiful. We chatted for awhile, or should I say she chatted while I shook my head smiling, not understanding a single word but never the less enjoying her cheerful company and assistance. After helping me she journeyed on down the hill and began chatting with Costa, they seemed to be having quite the intense conversation so I headed down to find out what she was saying.

She asked him who we were and what we were doing gathering firewood with Alice’s daughter. Costa explained to her what was happening and she began thanking him and World Vision for the miracle they had preformed for Alice and her family. She was so grateful for all that had been done to help Alice, that she along with the other neighbors felt like Alice had truly received a miracle. At the time I had a hard time to wrap my head around that, here we were sweating like pigs scratched and bleeding just from gathering the fire wood, and I wondered how Alice’s life was so much better? After the old woman thanked us and continued on her way the children that had been down by the water hole began making their way past us headed toward the top of the hill. I cannot tell you how heartbreaking it was to see such small children struggling to carry their water jugs up this steep and uneven walking path. A couple members of our group helped them carry the water to the top of the hill to the makeshift shack they were living in. All of these children under the age of five and were there alone, no parents in sight, they were off working in the fields and the kids were left to do the chores and look after one another. We asked Costa if these children were part of the sponsorship program and he told us they were not. He knew of them, but since they were transient workers they did not qualify for sponsorship, they had no permanent residence and they moved quite often. With heavy hearts, we bundled up our piles of wood and began the long journey back to Alice’s house – down the hill across the valley and back up the other side. At one point I was so hot and tired I just wanted someone to shoot me and put me out of my misery, but alas there were no guns to be found so I had to just suck it up and keep moving. I did get a bit of a reprieve when Costa’s cell phone rang, and Costa with the largest pile of wood stacked on top of his head chatted happily on his phone while climbing the steepest part of the hill! I had to laugh, we were just dying, barely able to speak and here was Costa going along like he was on a leisurely stroll chatting all the while.

When we finally made it back to Alice’s house, we dumped our wood on a pile and headed out in search of some shade. I found a small patch along the side of her house next to the cow and goat; I sat drinking water and trying to cool down. As I rested I began thinking just how much work that had been, it really hit home when I realized that either Alice or her daughter do this every single day – twice a day, just themselves. A short time later the group that went to gather grass for the goat and cow came back, they were just as battered and worn as we were. They suffered from cuts they received while cutting and bundling the long sharp grass – it was nothing like the grass we have at home, this stuff could seriously be used as a weapon. The other group that had gone out to the fields to gather vegetables was busy peeling and preparing them to be cooked in a stew that we would later eat for lunch. It had taken us almost 2 hours to gather the wood and just as long for them to clean and peel the vegetables. Finally the food was in the pot cooking over an open fire and we sat in the shade shelling raw peanuts and fending off the goat. That goat would eat anything including our hair and clothing. On this day no one went to gather water – the well was so far away they didn’t think we could possibly survive the journey and it saddens and humbles me to know that they were right. At least they are able to gather water from a fresh water well and not the dirty stagnant water hole we passed on our journey for firewood.

When I put the day’s events into perspective, I understood why the odds are against the people of Africa. It took 14 people to do what a 13 year old and an HIV positive woman do all by themselves everyday. These chores for them have to be done one at a time, gathering firewood, fetching water, gathering grass for the animals and vegetables from the field would take them hours to do on their own. It took two hours to just wash and prepare the vegetables for cooking; they do not have cutting boards and sharp knives like we do.

All this has to be done before they can have their first meal, some how they also have to find the time to earn some sort of income during the day, go to school and then repeat the whole process over again before the sun goes down and it’s dark. This is Alice’s reality, this is her life every single day, and for her she has it good – very good thanks to the support she receives from World Vision. Can you even imagine what it must be like for those who have no help, those struggling without the sponsorship of World Vision? Alice is an example of what sponsorship can achieve, she and her daughter are on anti-retroviral medications, and they are doing really well. The oldest daughter has been able to catch up in school now that her mother isn’t in the hospital sick all the time; they have a cow that will give birth to a calf in October providing additional income for their family. This one thing that to us seems so small, to them it is like they have won the lottery. Before World Vision built them their new home they were living in the shelter that is now home to the cow and goat! Yes their life is still very hard by our standards, but at least they have a nice home, fresh food to eat, livestock for additional income, and medical coverage that keeps them all healthy. The girls are getting an education and they have hope – there was a time when they had none of that, yes you could say World Vision has given them a miracle and it’s called a sponsorship.

The day was hard, it was an eye opening experience and Alice and her two daughters were absolutely wonderful. We shared chores, good food, fanta and we all danced the hokey-pokey. This was a good day and when we had to say goodbye, my heart was bursting with joy for this little family that despite their hardships and struggles in life were truly a story of success and hope.

Carol

Friday, September 11, 2009

It's A Boy!



This morning I made myself a cup of Rwandan coffee, as I raised the cup to my mouth and breathed in the aroma I was instantly transported back in time and a wave of memories washed over me. It was a good feeling, I experienced so many wonderful things while I was there and it was nice to have those memories come flooding back.

There are people that I met who inspired me and challenged me to question my beliefs as a person. I miss Costa, he is an amazing individual who can brighten the darkest day with just a smile. No matter what the situation or the circumstance or how dire things may seem, he will always find the answer to any problem with the simple solution of I. If you ask him who is responsible for the Genocide he will respond I, and if you ask him who will heal the country? His response will be I; you see Costa believes that each of us is responsible for the things that happen in our lives and in our world. You can change no one but yourself, and if every one of us took this philosophy to heart the entire world would change. All these suffering children would be helped and no one would be in need. If I ask you as individuals who will save these children and everyone answered I -- just think what could happen.

I miss Costa, I miss the warmth and generosity of the Rwandan people and I miss all those children. I even miss the sadness, the poverty and the feelings of helplessness. I miss the joyful way we were greeted each morning and how they looked you in the eye when speaking to you. I miss the laughter, the goats, the chickens and I even miss those stupid birds that woke me up before my alarm each day.

At times I felt overwhelmed and helpless, I lived in the moment never thinking ahead one foot in front of the other. Laughing children, crying babies, dirty faces and runny noses -- those were some of the most beautiful children I have ever seen.

I remember standing on a road in Nyamata with my camera and children crowded around me clamouring to see their picture, a tiny child with wild hair and one shoe waddles over to see what the commotion is all about. Her dress dirty beyond anything I have yet to see, face covered in boogers and hair filled with dust, she stands there looking up at me captivated by this stranger she sees. Kathy jumps into action, and as fast as Jack Lightening she's holding a beautiful yellow and white dress with tiny flowers embroidered on it against our tiny visitor. It looks like a perfect fit, we search the crowd to find the mother and as I bend down to take a picture the mom is already removing the old dress. As she lifts it up and over the toddlers head to my utter shock and surprise I blurt out, it's a boy! OMG it was a little boy, the mother puts the new dress on him and away they go! The three of us look at each other and burst out in laughter we darn near pissed our pants. It is good to find humor in situations that would otherwise break your heart; these are the things I try to hold on to now that I am home.

Like the time that Costa, Vickie and I were at a school for sponsorship visits and our driver Samuel wandered off (he had a habit of doing this). We had no idea where he was and we had to drive to the home of a little boy I was scheduled to meet. Costa jumps into the driver's seat and tells us he will drive -- Vickie and I look at each other with shock and horror, we have only known Costa to drive a motor bike and never a car. We ask him who taught him to drive and his response is I. The van is a standard and Costa grinds the gears for what seemed like a life time until the the three of us take off, the van groaning and lurching we make our way onto the bumpy dirt road. Vickie and I stick our heads out the window and tell the children following all around us -- run, run for your lives! Costa is driving the van! Lurching, groaning almost stalling we make our way along the road, turning a corner and narrowly missing a house by a mere inch. We continue along a bumpy road that eventually turns into a trail and then not even that. Vickie and I fearing we may never make it back to civilization realize that we are no longer on a road, we are now driving over small trees and tall grass, as we continue to bump along Costa it seems never changes gears. Eventually we make it to a house in the middle of no where and I ask Costa how he plans to turn the van around. Surrounded by trees and shrub brush Costa seems quite concerned -- actually he tells us he is worried! Vickie (super woman)jumps into action telling Costa not to worry she can turn the van around! I get out of the van and fearing the worst, I back as far away as I can and look behind at the crowd of people that were gathered to partake in our visit. Vickie climbs into the van and begins backing up almost hitting a big tree! Next thing you know dirt is flying everywhere and all I can hear is the howling laughter behind me. Tires spinning, dirt flying, gears grinding, it was quite a show! After what sounded like tires popping she finally got the van turned around to the delight of the cheering crowd behind me. Costa runs to Vickie giving her a big hug and tells her she saved his life. We continued on with our visit which was very pleasant and uneventful, except for the fact that I thought I would be meeting a boy and it turned out she was a girl! Thank goodness she loved soccer! The journey back was pleasant and I think Costa may have changed gears once or twice! The next day everytime Samuel had to fill the tires with air Vickie and I would break out in laughter, it will forever be our little secret as to why the tires kept getting low. Vickie (superwoman) you are a maniac!

Carol

Friday, September 4, 2009

Wait For Me



It's been a few days now since I arrived home from Rwanda, the jet lag is starting to subside and Stephanie is back at school. The quiet inside my house is deafening and the sadness in my heart at times is overwhelming. Has this journey changed me as a person? I'd have to say no -- I changed many years ago, or maybe this is who I always was and I let life and circumstances get in the way. I knew this would be a difficult journey; I prepared myself as best I could. I faced my fears, and forged ahead to challenge myself in ways I could have never dreamed possible. I found courage and strength I never new I possessed and still it was not enough. I worked hard and gave all that I had in order to find sponsors for children I would be meeting and yes that is good, but in the grand scale of need that I was confronted with -- it was woefully insufficient. I find it hard to take comfort in the fact that I did my best; sadly I have learned that there are times in life when our best just isn't good enough. There is nothing I can tell myself to make it better when confronted with a room full of HIV positive mothers at an emergency feeding center, breast feeding their babies knowing full well that the disease that is ravaging their bodies may be passed on to their nursing child. Their options are few, feed their babies formula to negate the transmission risk and deny themselves the medications needed to stay alive. Save the babies - the mothers die. Save the mothers, and some of the babies will die. They choose the lesser of two evils, how can we who have so much allow this to happen? Knowing this would never be allowed to happen here in Canada is a bitter pill to swallow.

I discovered that I myself am deeply flawed, there were times I could not look at the children, I cowered and faltered drowning in my own inadequacies, their needs were just so great and all I had was myself. I could do nothing to ease their suffering, I wanted to run, to leave them all behind and shut my eyes. Just when I thought I could not go on another moment, tiny fingers entwined in my hair and the gentle stroking of little hands upon my skin would bring me back to reality. There in the sadness and despair, children calling photo! photo! that one small thing I could do for them brought smiles to their faces, it wasn't much but it was something.

Along with the sadness there were moments of exquisite joy and hope that seemed boundless, staring out the back window of our van as we bounced along a road that was only fit for goats to travel upon; children running behind us their little feet kicking up clouds of red dust, waving, laughing, so full of joy if made your heart ache. Suddenly there she was maybe 4 years old her bright red and white shirt caught my eye, I waved and when she saw me, a smile that could light up all of Rwanda filled her face and she began to run. She ran and ran as fast as those little legs could carry her; great big jug of water on her head be damned, she was keeping up with the big kids! The faster we went the harder she ran, the look on her face seemed to be saying wait for me! Stop the van! Stop the Van! Kathy yelled. As we pulled to a stop all of a sudden there she was smiling up at me, a look on her face like she had just won the lottery; it is a moment frozen in time, a face I will never forget, hope and innocence that was so beautiful and pure it took my breath away. Her strength and determination gives me inspiration to keep fighting for all these precious little children who deserve so much more.

When you look at her face, please keep in mind the least of what you have is more than she could ever hope for. Maybe today is the day you choose to become a hero to a little boy or girl just like her. Call me, together we can bring hope where only moments ago there was none.

Carol
email: cmarocco@shaw.ca

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Home Sweet Home


We made it home Sunday night and our return has been bitter sweet. We both missed our husbands,families and conviences that we had to live without for a month, but I know that we also left a huge part of our hearts in Rwanda. The last few days have been hard trying to adjust the internal clocks in our bodies back to Edmonton time, and for me, to try to adjust myself accordingly to what people expect. It is hard to describe, but what we experianced there cannot be put into words easily as so many of our experiances need to be experianced with all of your senses. Last night while my husband and I were having a quiet supper, I could not get over how depressing it was to be sitting at the table with all the windows in the house open and not hear a thing other than cars racing up and down the street. The hundreds of birds that you could hear merrily chirping and squacking in the trees was gone, the laughter from children playing, and yelling "Muzungo" at you were gone, and the general conversation from family and friends celebrating life in the streets and surrounding business had been left behind only to reveal the dead quiet of our life here. The littlest things that we may have taken for granted there, have now become a huge void in my life.

I have had to force myself this week, to go out and do all the daily routine things that need to be done, such as getting groceries and keeping appointments, but is has all been with a heavy heart. In Rwanda there is such a great love of socializing and everyone greeting strangers and friends alike, but the past few days here I have noticed that nearly everyone you come across barely smiles and cannot make eye contact with you because they are too engrossed in their own thing. It is very confusing trying to understand why on our side of the world, where we are supposed to be so advanced in everything that we do, and yet we have lost the simple art of humanity.

The one true hope that I have for all that followed us through our journey is forgiveness and reconciliation. I hope that it has inspired you to look at your lives and at that lives that you touch and consider saying sorry to someone that has done you wrong in the past. There was no greater impact on this trip than that. There are not many Rwandans that were not touched by the horrible atrocities of the genocide and lost many if not all of their loved ones and yet alot of them have gone on to forgive and in alot of cases become great friends with the very person that may have killed their entire families. We will never be able to imagine the horror of what they went through but we can learn so much. There is nothing in our lives that is so terrible that we cannot forgive, but it takes that first step, sometimes the hardest but in the long run, the easiest. I hope that you read some of the books that we have recommended to you in the side bar, so that you can see for yourself what I mean.

Thanks for being on this journey with us and I hope that when we are able to talk to you more about it, you are inspired to help change the world....one child at a time.

Vickie

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Adventures so far in brief

Since being connected with WV it has been very hard to stay in touch with you on the other side of the world. Not only are our days extremely long and tiresome, but the internet connection in the reception area where we have to log in now is very disheartening to deal with. Just to get here today has taken me over 30 minutes and when you are tired, dealing with a slow connection is the last thing you want to deal with! Listen to me complain when we have been surrounded by such profound poverty for over two weeks!

I have met 16/18 children so far and it has been an amazing experiance. Every meeting has been documented and so when I get home each of you will recieve a little rundown on your child and of course the great pictures that we have gotten of them. Every visit has been different because of course ever childs circumstance has been different but the one thing that remains the same is that almost all of them are very poor and in need of extreme help.

Yesterday was an awesome day for me as I met 2 sponsored children in the morning and had the most incredible meetings with them. One of them was my friend Tammy and Zack's little Jean and I have to say that the two of them were a complete inspiration to me. We laughed and shared through the translator and had a really good time and the sense of love and graditude that I got from them was huge! Tammy and Zack, you have an incedible child in Rwanda! The other incredible visit that really stuck out for me, was today. I met Angie and Ed's, Regis (yes I have an easier name for him!!!!!). After the initial exchange of information, I brought out the bag and and gave Regis his gifts and the light in that boys face when he saw the soccer ball was indescribable. Afterword, his mother refused to shake my hand and instead gave me the most incredible hug that I have ever had in my life! She would not let me go, she was crying and saying something in Kinyarwanda that I could not understand. Ed and Angie you must know that you have changed their lives incredibly and she is eternally grateful to you both.It is moments like this that reinstill for me why child sponsorship is so important. Please believe me when I say that so many of them have nothing and your $40.00/mnth can do incredible things for them.

I challenge all of you, to either sponsor a child, or tell someone you know to sponsor a child. There are over 3000 more children at the project that need sponsors and many that we have met, that were promised sponsors and do not have one. On Friday we will be meeting these children and I would love to be able to tell a couple of them that they have new and loving sponsors back in Canada. Go in with a group of friend contribute monthly and help to change a childs life. The possibilities are endless on what you can do with sponsorship. Do it with friends, family, be creative. Please contact me via email or Facebook.

World Vision is doing amazing and remarkable things in this country and I am very proud to be apart of this experiance!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Rollercoaster of Emotions


This trip has been a roller coaster of emotions, when I left Canada I was filled with so much hope for this little country in the heart of Africa. Within a couple of days I was plunged deep into the abyss of despair. All the work I had done personally to find a way to view both the Hutu's and the Tutsi's as victims went floating out the window after visiting the Genocide memorials and hearing our drivers testimony of his struggle to survive. Every day was filled with stories of horror that were of such magnitude I still find it impossible to reconcile them within my own mind. By the time I met up with World Vision I was filled with anger and despair over what had occurred here. I have to tell you what an amazing organization World Vision is, just when I needed it the most we spent a morning listing to a group that is supported by them tell us what they do to help facilitate forgiveness and reconciliation. We heard testimonials by perpetrators and their victims. The stories were painful and heart wrenching to hear, but the beauty of forgiveness that we witnessed between these amazing men and women was breathtaking.

We listened as Emmanuel told us how he brutally killed 17 people with a machete, one of which unknown to him had survived. That survivor, Alice sat next to him gently stroking her arm along the very spot where her hand had been severed by the blow of his machete. A very visible scar ran down the side of her face where he had struck her also. She had been clubbed in the head and shot through her shoulder with a spear. At the time she had a 9 month old baby girl that Emmanuel had sliced in half with his machete. There she sat listening to him recount the horror he had inflicted upon her and later when we all shared lunch, I sat back in amazement and watched as Emmanuel filled a plate with food and brought it over and gently handed it to her. It was beautiful and also heartbreaking to watch.

The next day I spent the entire day riding in the van sitting next to Emmanuel, I have to be honest every time our legs touched or our arms rubbed up against one another -- I thought to myself I am sitting next to a person who brutally murdered 17 people with a machete. I learned during this time that everyone of us has the capacity to be both good and bad, that we as humans are very flawed and capable of horrible things. I also learned that even though we may falter and connect with our darkest side, there is always room for forgiveness and redemption. It is what we do after our darkest hours that truly defines us as human beings. Emmanuel did things that are beyond my ability to comprehend or ever imagine anyone being capable of doing, and yet I feel empathy and an overwhelming sense of sadness for him. I have no doubt whatsoever that he is truly sorry for the things he has done -- and now as he spends his days trying to make amends for the sins of his past, he knows that there is nothing he can or ever will do that can atone for what he has done. I know this to be true because he told us in his own words that there is NOTHING in the world that has more value than the life of another and once that life has been taken, it can never be paid back.

My heart breaks for Alice who survived this horror, she prayed everyday for years that God would reveal to her who her perpetrator was, and yet when he answered her prayers she was not prepared to discover that the man she had been trying to help emotionally was the very person who had chopped off her hand, sliced her face and ultimately took the life of her 9 month old baby girl. When Emmanuel confessed to her, she ran from him. Forgiveness did not come easily, nor did it come quickly -- but eventually she found within herself the strength to forgive him and they have since, built a beautiful friendship that when witnessed could soften the hardest heart. I hope that I have within me the faith and character required to do what Alice was able to do. I know that I may not understand how Emmanuel did what he did, but who am I to judge him when his victim has forgiven what he did and considers him one of her dearest friends. I am so grateful to World Vision for the work that they do in this regard, it came to me at a time I needed it most. I told Emmanuel that he is a man of great courage, imagine yourself in his shoes. Could you stand up in a room of strangers from another country and tell them openly and honestly about the worst things you have ever done? That takes an incredible amount of courage, I like Emmanuel and every time I think of him my heart breaks a little bit more. I rode for miles in a jeep with him and another Emmanuel who is extremely famous in the region, when I asked why he was so incredibly famous I was told it was because he murdered over 50 people during the genocide. It just seems incredulous that the same man who was gently fixing the collar of a little girl I was visiting was capable of such brutality.

I started writing this post while I was still in Rwanda, I was not able to finish it and post it at the time. That is why the date on it is from days gone by. As I sit here trying to finish writing I find myself constantly overwhelmed by emotions that I could not allow myself to feel while in Rwanda. Sadness, hope, and at moments utter despair are all swirling around me and sweeping me out to a place in my heart and soul I have never been and I am struggling to find a way to keep it from pulling me under. I have seen a country that is so beautiful it defies description, and at the same time the magnitude of extreme poverty I have witnessed is breathtaking in its scope. It is every place you go, you cannot escape it. I have lived it, breathed it, smelled it and touched it -- it is hard to find hope in a place like this. Thank God that there is hope, some days it may be small and others it may be the size of a mountain, but it is always there -- you just have to find it and hold on to it and do anything and everything within your power to help it grow. Rwanda is a country full of contrasts, where there is extreme beauty you will find a past so ugly you are left speechless. Where you see no hope, suddenly there it is right in front of you shining brightly in the face of an innocent child. I loved Rwanda, the good the bad and the truly ugly, the warmth, the character and generosity of the people is amazing and we have much to learn from them.

Carol

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Met My Sponsored Child


This has been the first time this week I have had 5 minutes to even think about posting to the Blog. We leave early in the morning and get back just in time to go to bed. I was able to meet my own sponsored child on Monday afternoon and it was so amazing! She is beautiful just like her picture, I also met her whole family and got lots of pictures and video. I was very fortunate to have with me a couple from Calgary and Peter just happens to make films. He video taped my visit while his wife took pictures. When you are there you have no idea what is going on around you. We had so many children surrounding us and following us that at one point it was kinda scary. It is a very sobering and emotional experience meeting these children and seeing how very differently they live. I would love to tell you more about my visit with Immaculee but I am very limited for time. It is very late here and I must get some sleep. I hope we will have some time to tell you more about the amazing time we are having.

Carol

Saturday, August 15, 2009

The Hill of Resistance

We just wanted to let you all know that we are running at least a day behind right now because our days are getting very long and there has been little time for writing. We will now try a catch you up on the last couple of days.

Two days ago we left Kigali around 7:00am to travel to a place called Bisesero, also known as the Hill of Resistance. It was a very long journey that took us through some beautiful hills and quaint little villages. Along the way we stopped at a girls school that during the genocide, when the Interahamwe arrived, ordered the girls to fall into two groups. If you were a Tutsi you were in one and Hutu's in another. These brave young girls, said no this is not right. The reward they received for their bravery was execution. All of them were brutally slaughtered and any Hutu that stood up for a Tutusi died along with them. Previous to this trip, we had watched a movie about this very incident and could not believe we had stumbled across the actual place. It had a very sobering effect on us and we knew that what lay ahead would be no better.

Once again we found ourselves on roads that goats would have found difficult to traverse and slowly we made our way higher into the mountains. We drove for a short while along Lake Kivu which is absolutely beautiful -- my pictures cannot do it justice. As we traveled, it seemed no matter where we were the minute we got out of the car with a camera, children just magically appear! When we were only 4km from the memorial, we could not wait to get there as we had been in the car for 5 hours at this point. We did not know it would take another hour to travel the 4 kilometers! Upon our arrival we had to use the washrooms really badly and all that was available was an old outhouse surrounded by men. This wasn't any ordinary outhouse though, this was a "special" one. All that it was, was a hole cut in the floor, made more for the convience of a man than a woman. It took allot of talent to get in position and so for this we thought the "shorter" one should try first. So guess who was the guinea pig? You pretty much had to take a very big breath, step into the abyss, and make things happen fast, and get out! When the next candidate was ready, her caring buddy stood outside the outhouse and held the door for her, all the while running commentary about all the spiders and other bugs that were crawling along the floor. "Look up, look at all of them, look at them crawling on the floor!" Little did she know that the one in the outhouse has major arachnophobia and nearly passed out from fear!

A few feet away from the outhouse you begin the journey of the "Hill of Resistance" where again over 50,000 Tutsi's were slaughtered. What makes this story different though is that they were mostly farmers who decided to arm themselves and fight! The hill had a perfect vantage point to see the enemy approaching and the hill also came equipped with it's own natural supply of weapons for them to use....stones. Along with some of their own farm tools, they were able to fight the Interhamwe and chase them off. These tough farmers were able to hold off the Interhamwe for a 2 month period, but it finally ended in horror when the Interhamwe returned with the support of the military. Today the new memorial that has been built has 3 separate building, with each building being separated into 3 identical rooms. These represent the lives that were taken in the 9 districts of Bisesero. The bones of the deceased will be placed in these rooms in the near future. Further off from these 3 buildings is another memorial where the bodies of the men that died fighting, lie. This memorial is for the heroes of Bisesero. The aftermath of this horrible massacre was that there were approximately 1000 survivors but only men and young boys. Every woman in the surrounding villages were killed except for one, and in November of '94 the Interhamwe came back and poisoned her. It was a long journey home that afternoon but one that we are glad we went on.

Our solemn moods were suddenly replaced with shock and a little bit of fear when the Police stopped us. Enoch was talking to them while they were looking in the backseat of the car where the vertically challenged one was sitting. We thought they wanted to search the backpack, but when they hopped into the car and Enock sped off much faster than he normally drives -- we were left wondering what was going on. They were quite friendly and introductions were made and shortly after we stopped and they thanked us and said goodbye! As it turned out they had commandeered our vehicle to a criminal.


On Saturday we took a drive east of the country to a beautiful lake called Muhazi. We cannot really tell you the path we were on because the Rwandan map for some reason or other is very messed up and the route we took is not the one we were on. Regardless we made it there and enjoyed the scenery for a bit until it really clouded over and the thunder and lightening moved in. Experiencing thunder in Africa is like nothing we have ever experienced before. It feels like the whole sky is going to fall in on you and vibrates you to the very core. Unfortunately it rained on our parade and we ended up not staying very long and headed back to the hotel. This was the first bad weather that we have had since being here.

Today (Sunday) has been overcast all day as well and because of that we have not felt to adventuresome. We did manage to go to "Hotel Milles Collines" this afternoon and all we can say is that it was very disappointing to see. The hotel is under construction as they are "renovating" they have been since 2006. Nothing at all reminds us of the movie, but the most disappointing was the horrific prices and the rather rude service that we received. The best part of the day was when "someone" bought a Rwandan newspaper from outside the gates of the Hotel Milles Collines and negotiated all by herself the price of the paper. They proudly came back to tell me what a great deal they got on it. I pointed at the paper, showed her the price that was printed on it, and we won't comment on that anymore!!! We have had to move rooms again because we are now becoming the "World Vision" group. There was a development over the past few days that is going to make the beginning of this new adventure interesting. Kenya Air decided to go on strike and almost all of the volunteers as of Sunday night are stranded in Nairobi. Apparently though the strike is now over but the airport is a mess and no one seems to know how or when they will be arriving in Kigali. The group that is in Kigali at the moment consists of only Joanna, and of course us!

Friday, August 14, 2009

We Have Been Busy!


Our time here seems to be flying by in a whirl wind of activity. Dates and times have all melded into one. A couple of days ago we traveled across this beautiful country to visit the memorial site in a place called Murambi. We have read about it, and watched documentaries on it. We thought we were prepared to see it, we were not. It has been a couple of days since we were there and we still cannot talk about what we experienced. What we can tell you is that the moment of arrival was surreal. There keeping watch over all the victims is a man we have seen in many documentaries. We have seen and heard his pain and now we found ourselves face to face with him. He was here when the genocide happened. The soldiers had him strip naked, kneel down and then they shot him in the head. He fell lifeless onto a heap of bodies and was left for dead. During the night, naked and suffering from a bullet to the head and sick with malaria, he managed to walk towards Burundi a neighbouring country. After days of no food or water, his head swollen from the bullet lodged inside, he made it to the border where he was rescued by the Burundian soldiers. Once he was able he returned to Murambi, people living there denied what had happened. So he began to exhume some of the over 50,000 bodies that were buried in mass graves only 50 feet from where French soldiers of Operation Turquoise were playing volleyball while the bodies were being buried. He covered them with lime to preserve them and layed them out on tables for everyone to see. He refuses to leave this place, it is where he lost his entire family. He stays here to be close to them, lost in the past, he is a prisoner of the genocide. He is an example of the living dead.

After our tour the three of us climbed into the car, with heavy hearts we began our journey back. The three of us talked and discussed things that will remain private. We may at some point share them with others but for now they will stay just between the three of us.

As we traveled on, we came to a town and stopped so that our driver could buy some chickens for supper. We hid our heads because we thought they were going to kill them right in front of us. The chickens were placed in the trunk of the car and we were sure that they had met their maker. Enock jumped back in and away we went. As we got closer to Kigali we came upon an outdoor market, the three of got out of the car and we watched Enock wheel and deal as he bought fresh fruits and vegetables for his family. Once all the goods were safely stored in the trunk we started on our way, it was at this point we realized that the chicken was still alive! We couldn't believe that they had not died from the heat as we had stopped for lunch and been driving for quite sometime. That chicken had been riding around in the trunk for over 5 hours. We joked that by the time we got to Kigali they would have eaten all the avocados in the trunk!

The next morning we were off to an area called Kinihira. It is an area of Rwanda that Romeo Dallaire would travel to by himself to gaze upon the beauty of its' hills and gather his thoughts. We wanted to see this place where our Canadian hero was able to find himself and a little bit of sanity. The journey there was breathtakingly beautiful, and we are not using this description lightly. We traveled down dirt roads that we were sure would swallow us up and we would never be seen again. Along our way we came across a Tea Plantation and Enock convinced them to give us a tour. We donned our tour garb (the pictures will never be seen in public, ever!)and off we went. The production of tea is a complex and interesting process. We will never take it for granted and have a much greater appreciation for all the work that goes into the making of it. It was a wonderful experience that will remain one of the highlights of our trip. From there we continued on towards a town called Byumba. We worried if the car would make it, as the road was really meant for 4 wheel drives not a little blue Toyota! After nearly careening over the edge of a cliff and Enock panicking when ever we got out to take pictures (he thought we might fall over the edge)we made it to a road that was paved! We asked Enock if he wanted to get out and kiss the pavement, he didn't understand and we just laughed. The town of Byumba gave us an uncomfortable vibe so we continued on our way. We stopped and had a picnic along the side of the road, Enock had brought us some home cooked food that his wife had prepared. Once we were on our way, the Police pulled us over to ask if we had seen an accident, further back there was a man and his bicycle lying on the side of the road -- he had been hit by a car. It was a very long journey and the car, as well as us was covered with the red dirt of Africa. People have told us that once you set foot on the red African soil it will be in your blood forever and you will never be free of it. We know that for sure this is true. It is not only in our blood, but it is in our eyes it is in our nose, throats, hair and every nook and cranny of our bodies. We will never get rid of it! The car was so dirty we took it to a car wash and sat with Enock and the other Rwandans and talked while the car was being cleaned. It took over 2 hours! With a nice clean car Enock dropped us at our hotel and our day was finally over.

We have had a really amazing time so far, the people are warm and wonderful and everywhere we have gone the one thing they all have in common is how close knit the communities and families are. The people are always together, talking, working and the children playing. We thought we were coming here to help save these children, but I can honestly say they have saved us. In our western world we are so driven by careers, cars, and the latest technological gadget that we have lost track of what it is to really be a community. Most people consider African countries as backward and very primitive, well ask your self where has all our forward thinking gotten us, we have become a nation of self centered, self absorbed Muzungu's. We have so much to learn from these so called backward, primitive places. Each morning as we have breakfast we marvel at all the Muzungu's (whites) in the restaurant, most of them are here because they think they are saving the world with their so called unselfish acts of kindness, and yet to their own kind they can't even say good morning or look you in the eye. The Rwandans on the other hand acknowledge everyone, especially their own. This trip has really taught us what is important and the things that should mean the most to us are the ones money can't buy.

Carol & Vickie

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Nyamata Genocide Memorial


We are a little behind on posting yesterdays blog. We were having some technical issues with the internet and our skills or lack thereof, as bloggers. We were frantically trying to get the pictures from yesterday (I just told her to "photoshop" my whole face!!!)to catch up to the blog.

Our day (Tuesday, August 11th)started at 8:30am we both had a pretty good sleep last night and logged about 5 hours sleep instead of the 2-3 we have had for the past 4 days. Tonight we are making it a very short night and heading to bed very early as Enock is picking us up at 7am tomorrow.

Our adventure today took us from Kigali down, through Gahanga, Mwogo, and across to Ntarama where we stopped at our first up close and personal experience with one of the rural genocidal memorials. At Ntarama there is a church....where the Tutsi's fled to seek shelter....in this Catholic church they would find no shelter instead they found themselves trapped in what was to become their death chamber. Traditionally the church has always been a place of sanctuary and protection and they believed it would once again provide protection from the Interhamwe and the military. The military along with the Interhamwe brutally murdered approximately 5000 Tutsi's, and even after 15 years we could still see the blood stains on the walls from where they murdered the small helpless babies by smashing them against the bricks until they were dead. The victims clothing hangs from the rafters of the church to help any possible survivors identify loved ones or friends. Skulls and bones greet you at the entrance of the church and as you stand in this "house" of protection you can feel and almost hear the horrible atrocities that befell them 15 years ago. Just a short distance up a small rise,sits a house where a charred mattress made of foam lies on the ground with the skin of a mother and her child, permanently burned onto it... they had been trapped in the house and it was set on fire. As we looked around the charred remnants of what was once their home, lying on the floor next to our feet was a large clump of hair. Never as long as we live will we forget that moment.

We left Ntarama and drove through Kanazi, Kanzenze and then directly to another Catholic church in the district of Bugesera in the town of Nyamata. This is the area where the sponsored children come from and where we will be spending our two weeks with World Vision.

At the Nyamata church there were over 10,000 Tutsi's murdered and the gentleman that greeted us at the entrance is a genocide survivor that had been in this very church along with his family. Unfortunately, he does not speak any English at all, and everything was being translated by Enock. Almost immediately we knew that this stop was going to change our relationship with Enock forever. As we watched and listened to him interact with this gentleman we knew that there was a whole lot more to Enock and what was going on in Rwanda than we had been led to believe by the media and other things we had watched and read. The two men were extremely emotional and passionate in their exchange of words. We were mesmerized watching their faces as they spoke to one another. We could almost feel what they were talking about even though you could not understand one word. T heir pain and anguish was palatable and we were very moved by the way two men who only moments before had been strangers, where now sharing something so intimate and personal as the atrocities that they endured and ultimately survived. We were now privy to a scene that we had only read about in books.

The Nyamata memorial is fairly large. Some of you that are reading this blog might be trying to visualize what we are seeing and we are going to try and be as descriptive as possible because it is not what you are picturing in your head. It is not some beautiful tribute or new museum that the government has constructed in the victims memories. It is the original church in the same condition it was in during the genocide with the addition of bullet holes that riddle the ceiling, blood stains on the walls and the cloth that drapes the altar. This is the blood of the innocent victims. As soon as you enter the doors of this church, your eyes cannot believe what is lying all over the pews and floor. The clothing of all the victims has been left on the alter, pews, and floor. There is an area at the back of the church where the floor is literally piled a couple feet high with clothing and again you cannot miss the blood stains on the walls where they also chose to exterminate the babies by smashing their little bodies against the cold hard bricks. A fresh bag, that looks like something you would put potatoes in, leans against the wall. It is filled with new bones that have just recently been found. They are awaiting their final walk to the crypt located behind the church where they will be put to rest with the other 10,000 victims. This number is not a constant, it continues to go up as new remains are being found on a regular basis. The gentleman walked us through the church out the side door and around to the back where a huge underground crypt has been built for the victims remains. One crypt holds numerous coffins, while the other is home to thousands of bones and skulls that line the walls and reach from the floor to the ceiling. There are no lights down there, only from the windows above. It really brings into perspective just how horrible it was. At first we wanted to flee from that crypt, and then we realized how incredibly selfish that would have been. These people had been tricked into coming here to this church for protection, they had no food or water and then they were mercilessly killed in a most horrifying manner. We stayed down there for a long time listening to the two men share their stories of survival. When we could no longer breath and the feeling of all those souls were pressing down upon us, we climbed back up the cold dark stairs and out into the fresh air and sunlight. We left the two men alone when we came out, the realization of what we had witnessed while down there with them was powerful and heart wrenching at the same time. We walked off to the side of the memorial and talked ourselves about how unbelievable it seemed that you could even fit that many people into this church. They were literally sitting ducks in so many regards, the first one being that they believed the church would save them and offer refuge. As grenades and bullets ripped into that church, witnesses have said they were dignified and died quietly with barely a whimper passing their lips. We believe this to be true, and as we walked among their remains we could not hear the sound of their screams.

The killers weren't much of men or otherwise, being able to walk into a place of worship that would not have had room for even a mouse to squeeze into, swinging their machetes and clubs and hitting someone every time. Even being here today we cannot imagine the horrors that unfolded here, and it will be even harder for you...but we ask that you try.

What really jarred us both in a good way today, was the conversation that took place after that visit. Our angel Enock has been very traumatized by the acts of genocide. He told us that he once had a very large family and now there are only 4 members left. We were told that if a "Hutu" taxi driver would have brought us to the memorial sites it would have been a very bad experience for us, he also said that the "Hutu's" that live across the street from this church and who killed all those inside will not come to the church and see what they did. We have been told that no one uses the Tutsi and Hutu reference anymore because of what happened and that the country is in a huge reconciliation process. We are given the impression that the ripples on the water are being smoothed out,that is not what is being told to us today. I was shocked and confused when he started using the words that are supposedly not spoken anymore. We know that there is more to this story and we will just listen as it unfolds because we have no right to comment. There were 2 uncanny plea's for help today, at both the Nyamata and Ntarama genocide sites. We were asked to make sure to share everything we have witnessed with everyone in our country. We promised them both that we would do that for them. We did nothing for them during the genocide, but this is the very least we can do now.

Tomorrow is going to be an incredible day as Enock is opening up to us more and more each day, and we will be traveling to Butare which is south of the town where he grew up, called Nyanza. Enock has never been to the memorial in Butare and we are wondering if we are about to find out if that is where his family was massacred. The drive to Butare is 4 hours long and Enock has repeatedly told us it is going to be a very long day. I think in many regards it is going to be harder for him than us. We cannot tell you what an incredible honor it will be to visit this memorial site with him. With heavy hearts, for both Enock and all the victims who lost their lives in these two places, we must find a way to move forward and keep our promise to share what happened.

Vickie and Carol

Monday, August 10, 2009

Meeting Ishimwe


Today Carol and I were off to Gihinga so that I could meet my little boy Ishimwe that I have been sponsoring for 4 years. Ishimwe is the first little boy I have ever sponsored in my life and I never in a million years thought I would get the opportunity to meet him. Today when I laid my eyes on him I fell madly in love and when he came up to me for a hug, I am pretty sure that I squeezed the stuffing out of him. I have never hugged so desperately a child that has meant so much to me in a split instant. My heart ached and I did not want to let go of him. I thought that I had prepared myself to meet him and apparently I did not. Carol and I were sent into a fairly large church where they promptly asked us to head up to the stage and sit in the white plastic chairs that they had set up. For the next hour or so, 284 children performed just for us, songs and traditional dances. The music,so hauntingly beautiful that it made the hair on the back of your neck stand up, and all the while you are trying to hold back the tears. The dance was so fluid and elegant and I know I felt like an idiot when one little girl came to me with her arms outstretched, wanting me to dance with her. I tried to follow her but there is no way on god's green earth that I can move elegantly, like an elephant maybe, but not elegantly. Now Carol on the other hand........WOW! Now I know what she does in her free time!

Afterwards, we got to go to Ishimwe's house and meet his little brother Nkurunziza and their grandmother. It is not a known story, but I believe it to be a sad one in that the boys are in their grandmothers care as both of their parents are dead. This is an all too familiar story. Grandma presented me with a beautiful hand woven basket that was filled with sorghum because it was a symbolic act of her telling me thank you for all that I had done. Once again I do not know why they thank us when it is me that is getting so much more out of it than they are. We had a wonderful afternoon in Gitarama at a great restaurant that John found for us. Carol and I have been "awe struck" by all of the firsts that we got to participate in today with those two little boys. Take a moment to read over the list and then reflect on all that you have and maybe take for granted:

-1st time in a car
-1st time out of the village
-1st time Nkurunziza saw his picture
-1st time that Ishimwe took a picture on a camera
-1st time in a restauraunt
-1st time in a "real" bathroom
-1st time trying to get soap out of a dispenser
-1st time using a hand dryer
-1st time having "fried" chicken
-1st time chewing gum

I am going to bed tonight with a song in my heart and a smile on my face, and a little bit of sadness for a boy I may never see again and great wonder as to where his life is going to lead him.

It was a good day because I was privileged to meet these children and share these firsts with them, I don't even sponsor them and yet today I fell in love and had my heart broken all at the same time. It was a good day because at the end of it all Vickie and I were able to give them a pregnant goat and 3 chickens all for $30.00 bucks! We shared an experience with these two precious little boys that time and distance can never take away. These special moments when you look into the eyes of a child and realize this is the first time he has ever seen himself or chewed a piece of gum are so profound and private, your heart just swells and at that very instant of pure joy, your heart is shattered by the shear injustice that has been thrust upon them.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

We Made It!

We made it! Today was our first full day in Rwanda! Things sure have taken a turn for the better, as of last night we were both wondering if we needed our heads examined. Both of us are suffering from major sleep deprivation and Carol is black and blue from our experience in London, upset stomach's, headaches, blah, blah, blah. This has felt for me to be one of the longest trips ever! I don't remember it ever taking this long to get to South Africa, but who knows.

Our day started out at approximately 4am this morning as both of us were wide awake. Apparently Carol went to bed at 1am and I am not sure what time I went, but it was before her and I just died. Whatever it is we are not getting enough sleep and we are now considering Primus beer as a possible drug for sleep???? OK kidding, we haven't even tried one yet!

This morning after breakfast, we spent allot of the morning very dazed and confused as to what we were going to do and how we were going to do it. We acted like stupid tourists and asked a few people their opinion on cab's and rates and eventually had the front desk phone one for us. Just when we thought all hope was lost an "angel" walked in and after 2 full seconds of negotiations, we were off! Our angels name is Enock and we can confidently say without a shadow of a doubt that by the end of the week he will become our closest friend in Rwanda. He took us to the Kigali Genocide Memorial, where Carol and I proceeded to lose track of time and I am not sure how long we were there, but I do know that after all those months of reading books and watching documentaries, there are no words for what we experienced there today. It is too hard to comprehend that over 300,000 Rwandans were buried below our feet. That number continues to grow as more mass graves are uncovered all the time throughout the country. The children's area of the memorial was too much for either of us and no amount of reading could have prepared us for the pictures and descriptions of how the children were murdered. When I came down the stairs from seeing it, the girl at the reception desk asked me what I thought of it and I could not even speak, but my tears told her what I was feeling.

Enock patiently waited the entire time for us outside in the car (I wish my husband was that patient!)and off we went on another adventure in another direction (or so he told us). We found ourselves being driven through the most magnificent area of Kigali where the "townships" are being bought up by the government and being turned into very swanky resorts and homes. I'm not a betting person, but allot of those homes must be in the millions and too me it seems a bit mad especially when right across the alley from some of them are people living in shacks that would not be fit for our animals to live in. I only pray that the beautiful country of Rwanda never sells its soul to the devil again and lets foreigners take over land that is so badly needed by the Rwandans. I fear that this is true. At some point Enock pulled into a brand new shopping mall and immediately we smiled with excitement, there in front of us was a huge sign advertising that there was a "Bourbon Cafe" inside! To those of you that don't know, this is the Rwandan Starbucks and Starbucks had better hope that they never come to North America because they would have a run for their money. Carol got to experience first hand the length of time it takes to order drinks/food, etc., and the number of people that it takes to facilitate that order. We told Enock to order one of the wonderful pastries that was in the glass case and a drink. I never paid much attention for the first little bit because I myself was mesmerized by the sights in the glass case, but Enock came up behind us and we again repeated our request for him to pick out something that he would like. He walked over to a shelf that held a water thermos and told us that he would like one. We bought him that thermos and you have never seen a grown man who is 47 years old, so moved and so appreciative. He was beside himself with thankfulness -- it was like we had just bestowed upon him a million dollars. Let me tell you how silly we both looked as he with tears in his eyes told us he loved us and we sat there and cried. Starting on Tuesday, Enock is going to be touring us around Rwanda and we are scheming!!!! More to follow.....later!!!!!

Back at the hotel.....oh yeah.....for those of you from World Vision that will be joining us in a week....nothing electronic works!!!!!! For our husbands....good news...we haven't used our credit cards, but the wad of cash you sent us with is nearly gone!!! At this rate we might be coming home early because we are being told that nothing electronic (in the whole country!!!)will be working again for another week and if that is the case once the cash is gone we are in big trouble!!! Anyways, back at the hotel we had a short break in our room and then off to the restaurant where our waiter was a spitting image of Forrest Whittaker just 150lbs. lighter! Carol had the BBQ local chicken that looked like it was still running on the plate and I again had the Tilapia that was coated in flour. Yes, eating is a huge challenge when you have food allergies and I am very thankful that I brought 3 boxes of protein bars because pretty soon I am going to look like Carols chicken and it was the skinniest chicken I have ever seen! We tried to convince Wally to come with us today but he was so jet lagged he can't see straight! Really, his eyes are pointed in two different directions, Wally looks like we feel, Vickie says it's okay he can pull it off because he is cuter than us!

We put a few pictures on and will download more today, it took forever! Anyway will post more later.

Vickie & Carol

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

On Our Way!

Well this is it, tomorrow we will be on our way! For two people who couldn't wait for this day to arrive, now that it is upon us all that excitement has been tempered with with the reality of this being the last night we will spend with those closest to us. These past few days have been filled with last minute details to take care of and the saying of good byes to friends and family -- I think it is safe to say that Vickie and myself are emotionally drained.

The support that we have received these past months has been nothing short of miraculous, when we were struggling to find our 5 sponsors in the beginning we could have never imagined what we would achieve in the end -- as of today we have found sponsors for 26 children in the Nyamata region of Rwanda!

There are a number of people that we want to thank and acknowledge for their generous support and donations. First and foremost we want to thank everyone who sponsored a child and sent letters, gifts and pictures for us to pass along; you can find their names listed along the side under the Wall of Thanks. The following people or businesses have donated either goods or money to help us bring gifts for all the children we will be meeting:

The Book Worm (Sherwood Park) - Raised money and donated gifts
Bonnyville Dental Clinic (Dr. Reyburn McInnes) - Bags of toothpaste and toothbrushes
Canadian Tire Leduc - Soccer Balls
Flowers by Christina (Athabasca)- Toys, bracelets, pins etc.
Stolen Moments Photography (Bonnyville)- Free Photo Shoot to get our last kid sponsored
Brandon & Megan Boutin - Advice and contacts in Rwanda
Lee MacBean - Advice and lots of helpful info.
Linda Onsyzchuk - Financial donation and gifts
Calvin & Shareen Onsyzchuk - Financial donation
Darlene Poehlman - Financial donation
Edward Nazaruk & Family - Financial donation
The Bos Family - Financial donation
Karen Waggoner - Financial donation
Blanche Weir - Financial donation
Stephanie Marocco - Financial donation and stuffed toys

To our husbands, there are no words to express our gratitude for all that you have done and sacrificed to make this trip possible -- your contribution is priceless.

We will say goodbye for now and the next time you hear from us we will be in Rwanda!

Thank you and God Bless!

Carol & Vickie

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Today I have been busy running around and getting last minute things done since we leave on Thursday. Much like Carol, these past few days have been very hard. I am trying desperately to not let the tears come, because I am afraid that they might not stop. I am going to miss my amazing husband and family like I never have before, and have felt very selfish in this because I know at the end of it all, my husband and family will be here when I return. This was not true when the genocide ended and hundreds of thousands of people lost some if not all of their family. Going on this trip is a small sacrifice when you consider what happened in Rwanda 15 years ago.

This trip has become so incredibly important and so passionate in so many ways. Carol and I have met the most amazing strangers and re-aquainted ourselves with friends from long ago, and these are the people that have given a new face to humanity for me. In the midst when it seemed hopeless to each get five children sponsored, we have gone onto getting twenty three so far and we have 4 days left and two more children to go. With you, the sponsor, we never could have accomplished what we did and we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. You have renewed my faith and I can only hope that I will learn and grow as much as possible so that I can come back to Canada and help make a bigger difference in more childrens lives and continue to spread the word about how incredible World Vision is.

I want each of you to know that I am going to draw on your kindness and compassion as we travel around Rwanda and you will all be in my heart. It is amazing to me that sometimes in my darkest hours something happens to "remind" me of what is important in life and tonight I stumbled upon a verse written by Oriah Mountain Dreamer that was buried under a pile of paper. I thought it appropriate to share it with you. It reminds me of why this separation from loved ones at this time is so important. It reminds me that I have alot of growing to do. I have alot of living to do. This trip is what I "ache" for and I know it will help with meeting my heart's longing. I hope that you enjoy it and maybe reflect on what is important in your life.


The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.


Vickie

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Leaving Home

We are really getting down to the wire now, just 7 days until we leave and the reality of it is finally sinking in. I'm finding it quite difficult to talk about leaving my family for the month of August -- when people ask me how I feel I try to avoid the subject, it instantly brings me to tears. Stephanie had a really good cry last night, I tried so hard to be strong for her but I felt like my heart was being ripped apart. At times I question myself as a mother, how can I do this, how can I leave her for so long -- I know in my heart I have to be strong for the both of us and ultimately we will get through it. Then there is my best friend in the world, my husband Rob he commented about how quiet and lonely it will be while I am gone -- I had to leave the room. I just never realized how hard it's going to be to say good bye. I think once I board that plane I will cry all the way to Africa, even as I write this I am a blubbering mess of tears.

I want to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of the people who have opened their hearts to the children in the Nyamata region of Rwanda by becoming a child sponsor. I hope that some how our journey will be a window into the amazing hand up that their sponsorship will be providing. I have been sponsoring for the past 5 years and can't believe I will be meeting my own sponsored child. She will be no longer be just a picture on the wall, she will be a wonderful, beautiful, living, breathing little girl that I will be able to touch and feel the warmth of her skin when I hug her for the very first time. You see, because of her I will forever have a connection to Rwanda, I don't know what her life's story will be -- but I am blessed to be a part of it. Where she goes in life and ultimately ends up has yet to be determined, one thing I know for sure is that now she has so many possibilities that were once lost to her. That is ultimately the true gift of child sponsorship. I will leave you today with one of my favorite quotes.

Carol

"God is in the slums, in the cardboard boxes where the poor play house. God is in the silence of a mother who has infected her child with a virus that will end both their lives. God is in the cries heard under the rubble of war. God is in the debris of wasted opportunity and lives, and God is with us if we are with them." Bono

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Why World Vision?

I am always asked why I am so passionate about World Vision and how did I first become involved with them, this post is about what led me to them. Back in 2004 I read a little book called "The Power of Generosity" written by Dave Toycen, the President of World Vision Canada. After reading the first few pages, I remember putting the book down and thinking to myself what an amazing human being he is and that's the kind of person I would like to be. There are many stories and passages in his book that moved me to look deep within and beyond myself, but one that impacted me greatly and to this very day inspires me to never give up no matter how hopeless I may feel is a letter he wrote to his wife while working in Zaire following the Genocide in Rwanda. I hope you will take the time to read it and discover for your self what an amazing man Dave Toycen is.

"Dear Diane,

It was a bad day and a good day in Goma, Zaire among the Rwanda refugees.

It was a bad day because I saw a man with no hope crawl to his death. I was on a hurried trip to discover the latest developments in our World Vision food distribution program at Mugunga Camp when it happened.

The medical tents were off to the right as I climbed the modest rise into the camp. On the left-hand side, bodies were laid out like cord wood, all along the narrow roadway. When I passed the medical tents there were more bodies on the left. The sight and the stench take your breath away in the hot African sun. Then, not more than four metres in front of me, a shrouded figure was crawling on his hands and knees toward an empty space in the line of corpses. A boy of about 12 had his hand on this crawling, macabre figure, while his face registered a stunned shock and silence. The shrouded form of the man collapsed at the empty space in the line, and died. Here was the most shocking, compelling tribute to death in this hell on earth.

It was a bad day because a woman among the thousands thrust the baby in her arms in front of me and said, "Help" -- and in my helplessness to do anything, I turned away. Even in the microcosm of one little life I could do nothing.

I was afraid -- and the stench of hopelessness covered me, too. Right now I feel dirty and empty because I am a human being who is part of the despair and tragedy of this place.

It was a good day because I helped carry and transport six critically ill children from our Unaccompanied Children's Centre. We took them by car to the recently installed Israeli field hospital outside of Goma, where we were met with generosity and true professionalism. The hospital staff attacked the illnesses trying to take these children's lives with a single-minded purpose. They won the battle tonight, and six little ones are still living. It was a good day.

Dear one, I've been to hell and heaven all in one day -- and it hurts. Somehow I want you to know that I was a man today who lived in the middle of the whirlwind. My name was called and what I did was bad and good. You, more than anyone in this world, know that I am both. Pray for these refugees, pray for those who help -- and for me that I will not lose my way, in this place that must break the heart of God.

All my love as always,
Dave

Generosity by itself won't save the world; but along with its contribution to human care for those who suffer, it is a sign -- a reminder that we are more than our lowest common denominator.

There is satisfaction in catching the next breath, eating the next meal and staying in a shelter that is protected from the elements. What makes us human are the acts of kindness; giving the cup of water, providing the way to medical care and doing what's required with an extra measure of human touch and generosity.

My experience in Zaire was a twisted, inverted experience of my humanity -- and others' humanity as well. My failure and helplessness led me to go deeper than ever before in my life. I found grace, and the determination not to give up and the maturity to move from my own failure to help those in the valley of the shadow of death. No one can walk this path and remain unaffected." Dave Toycen

Carol

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Inspiration


I should be sleeping right now...early curtain call tomorrow at the gym, but I can't lay my head down yet because the most incredible thing has happened. The last little while there has been some upset in our lives because of some family things going on and on top of that alot of repeated rejection with the child sponsorship. So needless to say my flame and passion were nearly extinguished. I have been struggling with how cruel some individuals can be to people that they love and just generally feeling really discouraged.

I'm not sure what happened, but I think God just gave me a wake up call in the last 48 hours. In the past 2 days strangers that I have never met have sponsored 8 children. This is due in part to the incredible friends that I have been blessed with in my life. Karen Waggoner, who is an incredible woman, mentioned it to her friends and the next thing you know, Brenda Reynolds is emailing me that she is going to sponsor 2 children. I had to have a little cry on that one. Brenda has no idea how much she has changed those childrens lives but she is also responsible for touching mine. Brenda, you are an incredible person and I hope that many are inspired by you...I know that I am. Karen....thank you so much!

Tonight...what can I say about tonight? Wow!!!! Leanne Struve...we have had a truly long friendship and very different one in that for a few years we lost touch and then reconnected and it was like no time had passed at all. Leanne you are my kindred spirit in that we share the same passions with most things and in your presence I can be myself. I have shared my heart and soul with you along with much pain and happiness in the last 20 years. I owe you so much and all I have to offer is my friendship...I hope that is enough...for now! Tonight the most incredible miracle happened. Leanne invited Carol and I to Angie and Ed Lafavor's house because it was their Thursday small group gathering, and it was there we met the most incredible people. We went with 4 children needing sponsorship and left with 6 being sponsored. What struck me the most though was how sincere,kind,caring,giving and loving everyone in the room was. There was an incredible energy and love in that room tonight and it was infectious.

I believe that a very special thanks needs to be said to:

Leanne and Doug Struve
Angie and Ed Lafavor
Jim Hustins
Joan and Ron Szepefy
Sergio and Anna Garcia
Les and Brenda Lund

The outpouring of your compassion and caring tonight has really touch me and I will never forget it. As we meet your children in Rwanda I hope I can convey to them how amazing their sponsors are and how much they will be loved. You are all a true inspiration to Carol and I. And to everyone else that was there, you have touched our lives just as much because of your kindness and consideration of what we told you tonight. I think it is safe to say that all of our hearts were stirred tonight and I truly thank God for that.

This trip has been a roller coaster ride of emotions and we haven't even got there yet, but it has been a wonderful learning curve full of inspirational people. These last 48 hours have really reillustrated to me that this is my passion and what I was meant to do and I am not going to let anything get in my way of helping those in need. I am so rich tonight as I count my blessings in the form of my friends and strangers that have touched my life. There are no words to thank you enough.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The Blue Sweater

Very soon now we will be leaving, and with alot of mixed emotion. I am already trying to stop myself from tormenting about coming home from Rwanda, and we haven't even left yet. Most people cannot understand, and never will, what a profound eye-opening, heart and soul cleansing experiance it is being in Africa....and thus for me the anguish. On Sunday we met two men from Rwanda, one of whom is going to help us when we are in country. Almost immediately I was transported back to Africa and the same sense of calm, serenity and joy filled my heart and I could barely contain myself from running out to the airport and jumping on the next plane out! Some say that it is wrong to be so emotional over a culture, a country, especially if it has turned your heart away from your own. I say that it is wrong to close your eyes and pretend that what is happening in other countries has nothing to do with you. As one of the richest countries in the world, we have alot to learn about humility and humanity from one of the poorest.

What tugged at my heart, is that upon meeting those men, I calculated that they would have been anywhere from 5-8 years old during the time of genocide in Rwanda and yet the love, kindness and happiness in their eyes was infectious. The genocide would have touched their lives in a way that we can never comprehend. If we ourselves would have had to have lived even a minute of it, it would have destroyed our lives. We would never have mentally lived through it, on any level. We would need medication , thousand of hours of counselling and then we would make sure that we held on to that hatred forever and tell everyone the atrocities that had befallen us, for the rest of our lives. That is the society that we live in. I have been thinking about those young men and comparing them to a couple of young adults I am aquainted with and I do not understand how two countries, two cultures can be so awry. The men from Rwanda have suffered so much and yet are so peaceful, forgiving, loving and want for nothing and believe that they have a rich life. The young adults that I know here, are always unhappy and have an attitude that life has dealt them the worst cards ever and they deserve more but should do less to get it. I know dignity plays a big part in it, and in our culture, dignity has been been replaced by an attitude of "it is owed to me".

From the book "The Blue Sweater" there is a quote from "Song of an African Woman" (Okot P'Bitek) and it goes like this.....

I have only one request.
I do not ask for money
Although I have a need of it,
I do not ask for meat....
I have only one request,
All I ask is
That you remove
the roadblock
From my path.


I hope that if you follow us, that something stirs your heart and you develop the unquenchable thirst to drink in all you can about what is happening around the world, and to examine your life to see and believe that you are truly blessed. I hope you learn to practice dignity because...

Poverty won't allow him to lift up his head;
dignity won't allow him to bow it down.
(Madagasy Proverb)


Vickie

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Serenity Now!

Hello to our followers, time is really winding down -- my list of things to do seens to be growing instead of shrinking! We still have not nailed down a car and driver, which has led me to the conclusion that we will arrive in Rwanda with nothing booked and everything up in the air -- all I can say is, in the words of Frank Costanza "SERENITY NOW! SERENITY NOW! It's all good - really. We were able to meet with a wonderful young man Brandon Boutin, his wife and some friends who just returned from Rwanda and they are going to contact some of their friends back in Rwanda to see if they can help us out! I just have to say a huge THANK YOU to Brandon for being so generous with his time and helping us. What an amazing and inspirational group of young people they are, the world needs more young people like them!

We have had a number of people ask us why they don't get notifications when we post something new to our blog. You have to sign up as a follower -- it is really sinple you just click on the link located on the left hand side of the page and it will walk you through it. Once you become a follower you will automatically receive an email notifying you of a new post, and we will also be able to see who is following us!

I guess I better run, my daughter decided to take up skate boarding today and I couldn't bear to watch so I've been hiding in the house. I am sure by now Rob needs some "SERENITY NOW! SERENITY NOW!" I better go take my turn; even though she is covered from head to toe in protective gear watching her is kinda like watching a train wreck in slow motion! He just came in and told me she's getting better -- I think it's safe to go and watch now.

Later!

Carol

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Car for Hire

The time seems to be flying by now; I can't believe how many little things I have to take care of before I leave. We have really been struggling to hire a car and driver for our time in Rwanda. There are no car rental agencies -- and the ones they do have are all privately owned and operated. Vickie has been sending emails to various places in Rwanda but no one ever responds back! Except today she received a response from the Hotel we want to stay at (we are booked in there for our time with World Vision) so we thought it would be a good place for us when we first arrive. Vickie had asked about rooms for us from the beginning of our trip up until our time with World Vision - she had also asked about hiring a car with a driver and a few other questions about various places in Rwanda that we want to see. Their entire response was "I will find you a car I think you will be happy with" OMG! I can't wait to see that! She had also asked about pricing and this is the other response she received "Hey dear Vickie! I have your reservation and I think everything will be on a good range so don't worry about this please I'm here for you. See you! JB" I think I am beginning to be afraid! Very afraid! They must be telepathic and able to see the sitting duck tattoo on our foreheads!

Can't seen to figure out what type of foot ware to bring, I was going to bring flip flops or sandals until my friend who's been to Africa many times told me about JIGGERS! They are a tiny red tick that burrows into the skin between your toes and lays eggs while feeding off your blood -- lovely! Seriously we did discuss the possibility of bringing a pair of hip waders, just in case we decide to leave the hotel! Well back to the trenches, Vickie and I have much more planning to do -- kinda hard though when working from a recently updated Rwanda road map that shows only one road on it!

Carol